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My 2016 New Year’s Resolutions

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1. Stop procrastinating! I will tackle simple tasks with gusto, and not waste weeks (or even a month) with indecision.

2. I will stop waxing nostalgic for eras in which I ever lived (eg., the 1940s), or which never existed at all (eg., “Game of Thrones”).

3. I will politely pick up my shirt, pants and underwear from the floor when asked to by the restaurant management.

4. I will stop with the whining already.

5. I will stop shouting curses at other drivers in the cold weather, to prevent problems in warm weather when the car windows are down.

6. I will take time to smell the roses, taste the rainbow, live the dream, burn the bridges, and make the donuts. Not necessarily in that order.

7. I will decide on an answer to the question, “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?” and I will stick with it.

8. I will stop judging people based on superficial traits, except detached earlobes. Those bastards.

9. I will stop hoarding dynamite and admit to myself that I really don’t like to fish that much.

10. I will take everything to 10, even when the stream of thought has obviously run dry.


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